Some years ago, I went with friends to visit the National Cathedral in Washington, DC. We got it into our heads to sneak into one of the towers, which was closed to the public. Although we never made it to the top, we had a terrific time. It was a fun and memorable day. Afterwards, my friends suggested on a number of occasions that we go to the cathedral again, but I always turned them down. I thought that we would end up trying too hard to recreate the magic of the first visit, and the pressure to do so would ensure that we wouldn’t succeed.
No one expected the first Deadpool to be such a hit. The wise-cracking, fourth wall-breaking, morally dubious, and somewhat effeminate protagonist broke the superhero mold. Which is why everyone was surprised when he also broke box office records: the movie had the all-time number one opening for an R-rated flick, leaving the previous record holder, The Matrix Reloaded, trailing in the dust (something that Deadpool points out in the current movie). Deadpool 1 was not only hilarious, but some of the jokes had that grain of truth that separates a forgettable quip from a meme that endures forever.
So the pressure is on for Deadpool 2. The writers are aware of this and in the trailer, they promise to deliver. DP tells his bartender friend, Weasel, “It lives up to the hype, plus, plus.”
“The probably won’t even make a three,” Weasel replies.
“Why would they?” Deadpool asks. “Stop at two. You killed it.”
They didn’t kill it. They tried too hard.
The problem starts with the plot. They tried to tug on our heartstrings by putting a kid in it. That rarely works in an adult franchise (Logan being a happy exception). The kid in question is Russell, a troubled mutant teen who must get his inner Drew Barrymore under control before he gets too fond of pyrokinetically starting fires and has to be put down. I’d be cool with that. Russell is obnoxious and annoying.
As he tries to help Russell, Deadpool reconnects with Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead from the first movie. Once again Negasonic is criminally underused, as is her new girlfriend, Yukio, a purple-haired cutie straight out of an Anime. Other newcomers include Cable, a “one-eyed Willie” with a “Winter Soldier arm”; Peter, who has no powers at all, he just saw DP’s ad for superheroes and showed up; and Domino, whose thing is that she’s extremely lucky. That leads to a recurring debate with Deadpool as to whether that’s actually a superpower, and some fresh ideas as she lucks her way through the action sequences in an industry that sometimes seems to be devoid of fresh ideas for action sequences.
So there are a great many characters and the movie goes into overdrive to force Deadpool’s relationships with them to have the kind of endearing sweetness that characterized his relationship with his girlfriend Vanessa in the first movie (despite their relationship being based entirely on pop culture references and sex). Alas, these attempts to give the movie heart fall flat, mainly because the writers ignore the first rule of writing: show, don’t tell. Deadpool keeps telling us how they’re a family. But what the movie actually shows us is that Colossus and Negasonic don’t like him very much, and the newcomers just met him yesterday. It was embarrassing enough when Diablo went the “We’re a family” route in Suicide Squad. Is that really who you want to steal from?
Despite the visible effort, there are a couple places where the movie doesn’t try hard enough. First of all, the title: Was Deadpool 2 really the best they could come up with? How about The Pool Strikes Back? Or Dawn of the Deadpool? Or The Walking Deadpool? Deadpool and Loving It? Night of the Living Deadpool? Things to Do in Denver when you’re Deadpool? The Incredible Mister Pool? Pool Hand Luke? Pool Runnings? Poollander? High Pool Musical? There were any number of ways they could have gone more creative than Deadpool 2.
(At least they did a better job of naming the thing than the producers of the new shark movie coming out. That one’s called The Meg. When I saw the trailer last night, several people in the theater were unable to restrain themselves from blurting out their initial reaction.)
In addition to the lazily written title, there’s some lazily written dialogue. We know this because Deadpool keeps pointing it out. Pro-tip: you don’t get a pass for lazy writing by having your hero say, “That’s lazy writing.”
All of the above are missed opportunities rather than anything actually wrong with the film. But there were some things I intensely disliked.
One was the cavalier attitude toward death. I get that Deadpool is all about the inappropriate humor, but killing off a character for laughs is a tricky business. Some good rules of thumb, if you insist on going for the comedic death, are that the guy you kill should be a bad guy and the joke should be damn funny. The original Deadpool managed to pull it off (One word: Zamboni). This new movie, not so much.
Another thing I disliked was the cheap shots at the GOP. There were several throwaway lines to the effect that Fox and Friends are haters and Jared Kushner abuses children. This constant Hollywood sniping at leading Republicans—and by implication, the 62 million of our fellow citizens who voted for a Republican president—is unhelpful at a time when we desperately need a dose of civility in our national discourse. Also, it’s getting boring.
Don’t get me wrong. Even though Deadpool 2 doesn’t live up to Deadpool 1, it’s not a bad flick. There are plenty of DP’s signature one-liners to make you laugh (Deadpool to Cable: “So dark. You sure you're not from the DC universe?”). There’s a delightful twist on the bit from the first movie about the studio only being able to afford two X-Men, neither of them big names. And there’s a mid-credits scene that by itself is worth the price of admission to anyone who endured X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Trust me, it’s a scene you really, really want to see.
So drive to the MegaMaxiPlex this weekend and plunk down a few bucks for Deadpool 2. You’ll have a good time.
And then hope the filmmakers take their own advice and not make a three. As someone said in another movie from the X-Men universe, “At least we can all agree the third one's always the worst.”
Michael Isenberg drinks bourbon and writes novels. His latest book, The Thread of Reason, is a murder mystery that takes place in Baghdad in the year 1092, and tells the story of the conflict between science and shari’ah in medieval Islam. It is available on Amazon.com
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